Bitter Sweet Day

Well, I finally did it, I became a US citizen. I was sworn in this morning down town at the court house. It was an interesting experience and I was a little heart broken to be honest. It is a bitter sweet day for me. Josh and I got to the court house and we went into a room that was filled with all sorts of people from all walks of life. We waited to be checked in and then were seated away from our loved ones. The judge came in and shared his thoughts on naturalizing and as he was telling us that he was born a US citizen and that he can’t pretend to know what we are feeling, feelings of joy and happiness and for others feelings of sadness and loss, I began to think about what I was doing and giving up and I found my self crying a little bit for feelings of sadness. I started to feel a little bit of regret and uncertainty to know if I had made the right decision. We had to swear this oath to give up all allegiance my country of origin and it was a verbal group thing. I didn’t participate because I felt a little like I was betraying who I am. The judge went on to talk about what a privilege it is to be living in a Country that allows so many rights and freedoms. That we live in a Country that allows its’ citizens to have a voice without fear of punishment or penalty from the government, a Country to practice what we believe without having to practice in secret or worry about persecution or death. I was touched by his words especially because there were so many in attendance that live in a land where those freedoms and privileges are not permitted. I am so grateful to have lived in two Countries where I have been able to enjoy all the freedoms I could ask for with out living in fear. Then the governor spoke to us and in his congratulatory speech he talked about the oath that we had to take and how it wasn’t an oath to a country or a person, it was an oath to an idea and I really liked that. There were many more speakers who wished us luck and congratulations. It was very nice and I am glad that it is over. As I got thinking about some things, I realized that I don’t have to give up my Canadian citizenship, I didn’t have to surrender my passport and that I can and will still always be a Canadian. I’m not loosing anything but gaining, to live in a country where I can still be me and have my beautiful family, is indeed such a blessing. If I’m loosing anything it’s the hassle being a permanent resident brings and all the paper work when I want to do anything, and not being eligible for anything. So as soon as the ceremony was over, Josh and I went and had lunch together and I went straight to the Medicaid office and applied for everything I could. I am sure thankful for government aide! So thanks to my amazing husband who has put up with all the paperwork and all the pennies it cost to do this and for always staying by my side and helping me through this! I love you